The posters of Naqaab say it's 'the most shocking thriller of the year'.

And yes, like most Abbas-Mustan flicks, this one's filled to the brim with twists, counter-twists, mini-twists, twistlets -- until they finally let go with the final scene, which is -- you guessed right -- another twist.

So it threatens, at times, to be shocking -- like in dreadful -- but smart editing and the short numbers save this 119-minute flick even if it shows signs of dragging towards the end, which is disappointing really, considering that the promos were so inviting.

Through the movie, there's the presence of a Handycam -- as if everything's been shot. Sophia (a fresh Urvashi Sharma) is the kind of filmi character that only Bollywood could churn, yes -- the kind who works at Burger King by day, spends her evenings in glamorous outfits at beach resorts, and lives in a posh villa with even branded nightgowns at night. But never mind the artificiality, she's hooked up with millionaire live-in partner, boyfriend Karan (Bobby Deol), and after months of this relationship, he asks her to engage in holy matrimony. Just that this millionaire chap missed the diamond ring, and managed with a vegetable one instead, a spare piece that was destined to be fried in an omelet.

-- we roll our eyes at the cheesiness. Apparently, Sophia missed it -- and gets wowed, before gushing her approval.

So what does a just-figured-out-I'm-engaged girl in Dubai do? Apparently, she takes a few friends out for a treat at a resort, and the 'Egyptian custom' (rather, an Egyptian custom in Dubai, announced by a guitarist that speaks Hindi and plays Spanish) is that the girl must have one last dance with a man of her choice. She makes her pick -- the man in question being obsessed with her already as he's filming her through the Handycam -- a struggling actor named Vicky (Akshaye Khanna) -- and they hit the stage.

Just that, through the dance, she falls for him (and vice-versa -- obviously) and they nearly kiss before a glass is dropped to the floor and shatters everything -- the silence, her 'fantasy' and the glass itself. She runs, he follows. Yes, right up to the Burger store, to the dump behind, where he asks her out for a date.

And suddenly, oh-so-suddenly, Sophia starts to think. Karan? Or Vicky? She manages a few dates with the latter, whom she loves, in spite of her commitment. But then again, does Vicky really love her? Or is he faking it all for a contract he signed with Rohit? Er -- Rohit who? And does Sophia break up with Karan? Or does she walk into the St. Francis of Assisi Church for her marriage with Karan, the one to whom she's committed?

The answers to those questions is what makes us stay back through the second-half. Well, yes, it's thrilling. The good thing about this flick is that there are enough twists to sustain the ride. On the flipside, there are just too many of them. It's like a meal that could've been delicious if they didn't overdo the salt.

And the characters have the screen-time, but not the substance. Bobby Deol does his bit well -- doesn't exactly make you go wow -- but goes about the role without much fuss. Akshaye Khanna's class starts and ends with his ex-pressions, but when it comes to scenes that demand intense emotion, or surging vengeance, he loses it. Urvashi is a refreshing watch -- not exactly drop-dead gorgeous -- but a half-plastic face, a touch of elegance and thirty-seconds in a pink bikini make her worthy of watch. Oh -- the real winners are the technicalities, this is a sleek, polished piece of work with smart camerawork, unusual angles and a good choice of locales. The music is uninspiring, and Abbas-Mustan movies are really known for their good choice in music, so that comes as a 'shock' alright.

All in all, it's a slight disappointment unless you walk in expecting little. I mean, Tips tagged it the movie of the year, the teasers were awesome, and that a rather subdued Bobby Deol went on record to say that it will shock everyone.

Shock shmock. This ain't ground-breaking. But yes, it's worth a watch, considering that in the last weeks we've been subjected to the likes of two-and-a-half Awful As -- A.K.S and Apne with Aawarapan making the half. To its credit, Abbas-Mustan's flick is way, way better than those.

Just that, sigh, it's far from real. Last I checked -- a year back -- Burger King waitresses were just not that pretty, nor did they wear such immense make-up. And they certainly didn't live in Madinat Jumeirah. And they certainly didn't dine out at the Palm Resorts. And even if they did all that, they certainly couldn't afford the rent in a duplex-villa anywhere in the country with that job.

But was it supposed to be real anyway? Maybe not. And tell you what -- perhaps it wasn't meant to be original either. This video below from 'Dot the I' seems to have 'inspired' the 'director-duo' to the verge of plagiarism. And the Dubai locales? They're a perfect platform for Pritam to rip a few hit Arabic tracks too.



Just a quick checklist. Synopsis? Check. Slap in the pub? Check. Handycams? Yes. Choose a man for one last kiss? Nearly, check. The I'm-getting-married scene? Check. Check. Check. Ch ...

... what did the custodians of Bollywood tell us about piracy and theft again? Yeah -- rrright.

Just a few words of caution if you're watching this 'replicaab' -- well, atleast it was damn loyal to the original -- grab some popcorn or a hottie for company -- otherwise you'll find yourself quite disappointed.

Or maybe just rent a copy of 'Dot the I', like I will.

*****